What do you think about arranged marriages?

I am against them in general sense. I can see how sometimes it’s works out to be what is for the best, but I think generally it goes against free will, freedom of choice. Many instances a person may not connect with the arranged individual nor find them physically attractive. There are instances where there is somebody else out there who is a better fit for a certain individual, who cares more for them, who has better chemistry with them.

I am against them. You should have free will in who you marry and to marry for love only so it is a person you know and trust. This is not up to the parents who you marry. They are only there to raise you and when you become and adult you live by your own free will.

I am against arranged marriages, since everyone should make his/her own mistakes. However, I am not against parents or friends suggesting a particular partner to a person of marriageable age (and then trying to arrange the marriage).

The question on the nature of arranged marriages breaks down to the evidence, with the evidence being determined by the questions asked:

Do marriages made by personal choice last longer or shorter than arranged marriages?

Do cultures which practice arranged marriage last longer or shorter than cultures which do not practice arranged marriages?

Do arranged marriages necessarily hamper the free will of the individual since arrangement is made by parties who know the subjective nature of these said individuals?

Do arranged marriages necessarily hamper the free will of the community since arrangement is dependent upon individuals who are subjective extensions of an objective group?

Do cultural frameworks dependent on "marriages of personal choice" promote unnecessary relationship hazards (ie dating as practice of temporary relationships)?

Do cultural frameworks dependent on "arranged marriages" promote unnecessary relationship hazards?

What are the rates of relationship violence in arranged vs non-arranged marriages?

a) The definition of "violence" would be the pivotal point on which the answer rotates; hence it's definition would decide the answer.


What are the economic benefits of arranged versus non-arranged marriages?

Is the nature of marriage determined by the technology status of the civilization?

a) If so what roles does technology play in determining the relationships itself?
a1) Gender roles?


x) The questions can go on and on.

For the record, from both practical experience and the observation of the environment I am both currently in and those I have observed, the dating system is a complete failure and forges the habit of not just failed relationship and subjective standards which are both irrational and obscure, but simultaneously causes a fracturing of the human condition at both the individual and group level.

Arranged marriages, when balanced with the free will of the potential participants, appears not just the most practical methodology but one which maintains group cohesion. Contrary to modern views of the nuclear family, families at the larger level are joined through the act of marriage; hence marriage is a community involved activity and not strictly one relegated to the individual "lovers".

Even at the individual level, when marrying for "love", a certain imbalance keeps reoccurring (according to both what I have observed subjectively and objectively) where one individual "loves" the individual more than the other. In this manner "love", while an element of marriage which has necessity, does not appears to be the most stable premise from which to measure the stability of the relationships as it often times not just appears fickle but is subject to change when certain environmental variables are added (change in financial status, health, status, etc.)

The simple truth, one I have observed all too often, in that in the nature of "love" women generally do not know what they want or do not want and appear to not just to adapt but change according to the framework presented to them. In simpler terms when a man marries a woman, he marries an extension of a communities values, hence an "arrangement" is made whether intended or not. Barring repulsion or some other extreme physical or psychological stress on the part of the woman, I have not seen much success in regards to them having the choice men have when presented in a culture which say's do as thou will. The reason for this is because women, generally as nurturers, nurture what ever is in front of them regardless of its moral inclination.

In a culture which prizes individualism, women embody this and reason from a strictly emotional position which is not entirely congruent to the whole nature of the human condition as "mind" "body" and "spirit", not just "body" and "spirit".

Love appears, to me at least, something which is not so much measured in the very finite process of dating but seems to extends from an intertwining of people where there characters are intertwined under the limits of time and space.

In a culture of constant change, this nature of love as ordered and premised through time, in itself becomes finite and is relegated to an extension of the chaotic environment from which it comes.

Love makes a marriage strong. If I was ever in an arranged marriage with someone I don't love and want nothing to do with then I would request my own bedroom with a lock. He can be a roommate. If he enters my room he will get hurt! I'll only agree to such terms. If I really want kids then I'll adopt them.