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Post by Polaris on Mar 21, 2020 16:21:46 GMT
In Achebe's "Marriage is a Personal Affair", a wife suffers very much before being accepted by her in-laws on account of the fact that she is a stranger and she speaks a different language. First she is accepted by the women folks as she respects her husband, and keeps her house and children clean. Then she implores to her father-in law to welcome his own two grandsons ( her children) after refusing to receive them in his home for some years. Any Comments?
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Post by Polaris on Mar 21, 2020 16:26:58 GMT
The community of the story is African
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Post by Eugene 2.0 on Mar 21, 2020 17:12:27 GMT
Honestly, I don't like to intrude to any family affairs. it sounds disgusting to me. A family is a fortress. None must see what happens there. (Of course if this is not one of that modern types of families - opened ones.)
And what does it mean "she suffers"? It's impossible. If you've made a choice and you know what may happen to you, everything is fine. A curtained part is under discussion. I think that everything that is not implied from the previous based circumstances has to be discussed for everyone's sake.
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Post by Polaris on Mar 21, 2020 17:54:34 GMT
Honestly, I don't like to intrude to any family affairs. it sounds disgusting to me. A family is a fortress. None must see what happens there. (Of course if this is not one of that modern types of families - opened ones.) And what does it mean "she suffers"? It's impossible. If you've made a choice and you know what may happen to you, everything is fine. A curtained part is under discussion. I think that everything that is not implied from the previous based circumstances has to be discussed for everyone's sake. She and her husband got married first and then they broke the news to the family. They sent their wedding picture to the husband's father. The father tore his son's wife from the picture and sent it back to them. She then had two choices, either to leave her husband whom she loved very much or to be with him and tolerate the social exclusion imposed on her by the family of her father. This is what i mean by " she suffers".
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Post by Elizabeth on Mar 21, 2020 19:45:25 GMT
She and her husband are their own family unit and separate from that other family. If anything I'd love to be on her shoes. If my future in laws have anything against us then see ya later! Don't need the negativity around and more peaceful in the family unit without others.
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Post by Eugene 2.0 on Mar 21, 2020 20:07:13 GMT
Honestly, I don't like to intrude to any family affairs. it sounds disgusting to me. A family is a fortress. None must see what happens there. (Of course if this is not one of that modern types of families - opened ones.) And what does it mean "she suffers"? It's impossible. If you've made a choice and you know what may happen to you, everything is fine. A curtained part is under discussion. I think that everything that is not implied from the previous based circumstances has to be discussed for everyone's sake. She and her husband got married first and then they broke the news to the family. They sent their wedding picture to the husband's father. The father tore his son's wife from the picture and sent it back to them. She then had two choices, either to leave her husband whom she loved very much or to be with him and tolerate the social exclusion imposed on her by the family of her father. This is what i mean by " she suffers". I see. Family's relationship are almost usually messed completely. Soap opera is what I cannot watch because of all its labirinth of relations which are almost all the time constructed by not holding any ceremonies, traditions and standards. This story is about mixing traditions (not knowing a foreign language), and this is a pinpoint of the plot. I wonder are there any "mixed families" traditions? They must be or how any family were build? So, there is no over-mixing traditions should be, but people should follow common traditions which are given by God himself.
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Post by Polaris on Mar 21, 2020 21:28:45 GMT
She and her husband are their own family unit and separate from that other family. If anything I'd love to be on her shoes. If my future in laws have anything against us then see ya later! Don't need the negativity around and more peaceful in the family unit without others. Living peacefully without the family of the in-laws is out of the question here because they are part of an African traditional system. The western mentality doesn't work here.
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Post by Polaris on Mar 21, 2020 21:32:38 GMT
She and her husband got married first and then they broke the news to the family. They sent their wedding picture to the husband's father. The father tore his son's wife from the picture and sent it back to them. She then had two choices, either to leave her husband whom she loved very much or to be with him and tolerate the social exclusion imposed on her by the family of her father. This is what i mean by " she suffers". I see. Family's relationship are almost usually messed completely. Soap opera is what I cannot watch because of all its labirinth of relations which are almost all the time constructed by not holding any ceremonies, traditions and standards. This story is about mixing traditions (not knowing a foreign language), and this is a pinpoint of the plot. I wonder are there any "mixed families" traditions? They must be or how any family were build? So, there is no over-mixing traditions should be, but people should follow common traditions which are given by God himself. The wife, here the stranger, accepts the system but tries to work from inside it until she could make some change in the society, leading to the recognition as a family member. I would like to hear further illumination on this point.
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Post by Elizabeth on Mar 21, 2020 22:01:14 GMT
She and her husband are their own family unit and separate from that other family. If anything I'd love to be on her shoes. If my future in laws have anything against us then see ya later! Don't need the negativity around and more peaceful in the family unit without others. Living peacefully without the family of the in-laws is out of the question here because they are part of an African traditional system. The western mentality doesn't work here. Must they live in same household though? But either way one if one is given lemons they must make lemonade. So they shouldn't let anxiety, worry, depression get to them or else they'll take their life. If I'm to share a house with them then I'll have my part of the house and they'll have their's. I won't cross to their part and they better not cross to mine or they'll start not seeing their grandkids in their part of the house. But if we don't need to leave together then they can come over sometimes...I guess.
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Post by Polaris on Mar 22, 2020 6:05:34 GMT
Living peacefully without the family of the in-laws is out of the question here because they are part of an African traditional system. The western mentality doesn't work here. Must they live in same household though? But either way one if one is given lemons they must make lemonade. So they shouldn't let anxiety, worry, depression get to them or else they'll take their life. If I'm to share a house with them then I'll have my part of the house and they'll have their's. I won't cross to their part and they better not cross to mine or they'll start not seeing their grandkids in their part of the house. But if we don't need to leave together then they can come over sometimes...I guess. Thank you, queen, and as they say: " good fences, make good neighbors"
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