Post by DKTrav88 on Sept 9, 2018 21:15:35 GMT
bully:
1) a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
2) one who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller, or in some way vulnerable
3) somebody who hurts others either physically, mentally or emotionally.
4) a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.
Synonyms for 'bully' are as follows:
- oppressor
- annoyer
- persecutor
- pest
- ruffian
- tormenter
Understanding bullying
Bullying is a distinctive pattern of harming and humiliating others, specifically those who are in some way smaller, weaker, younger or in any way more vulnerable than the bully. Bullying is not garden-variety aggression; it is a deliberate and repeated attempt to cause harm to others of lesser power. It's a very durable behavioral style, largely because bullies get what they want—at least at first. Bullies are made, not born, and it happens at an early age. More and more research is showing that bullying behaviors are developed between toddler and preschool years, and further engrained into a child’s communication style as they continue to progress through elementary school with the behavior unchecked. Children are a product of their upbringing, and many parents unknowingly expose them to interactions that shape the way their children will communicate with others one day. Many studies show that bullies lack prosocial behavior, are untroubled by anxiety, and do not understand others' feelings. They typically see themselves quite positively. Those who chronically bully have strained relationships with parents and peers.
Bullies couldn't exist without victims, and they don't pick on just anyone; those singled out lack assertiveness and radiate fear long before they ever encounter a bully. Interestingly enough, it appears that most bullies are completely unaware of how they are perceived. Often they find ways to justify their behavior, and have no concept of how their peers actually see them. For the most part, they consider themselves well-liked, though this is usually just a result of fear-based manipulation, and people being too afraid to speak up.
Bullying can consist of many different types of behaviors. Physical bullying consists of any type of physical violence, no matter how small. Another type of bullying is verbal bullying. This type of bullying consists of name calling, teasing, making fun of others, and threats of violence. Lastly, and most disturbing is cyber bullying. This type of bullying is perhaps the most dangerous type of bullying as it can be done anonymously. Cyber bullying can find many mediums such as email, text messaging, and social networks such as Facebook and MySpace. Here the bully can remain unknown as they can create fake screen names and profiles. It makes it easier to be a bully and to fall victim. Cyber bullying can consist of threats of violence, verbal abuse, and spreading false information for the purpose of embarrassing someone or hurting their reputations.
Who are bullies?
Bullies do not fit into a neat little box. They come from all walks of lives, all ages, all genders, all races, and all cultures. Bullies are very often people who have been bullied or abused themselves. Sometimes they are experiencing life situations they cannot cope with, that leave them feeling helpless and out of control. Many times, a bully does not feel that they can find any other means of fitting in or carving out their own niche in life so they turn to being powerful in a way that they feel brings them respect. They feel that being feared is the way to gain respect and surround themselves with friends and people who look up to them. However, what they do not realize is that people are “friends” with them so they do not become a target of their bullying. It all comes down to fear. Another possibility of the reason being the bullying attitude is that the bully themselves feels that they have no control in their lives. Maybe their home life is out of control and they are not listened to or valued by their family. In order to compensate for the lack of value at home the bully finds it in other places in inappropriate and unhealthy ways. Even though these are all valid explanations sometimes the only explanation is that the bully is a mean and cruel person who only feels good when they can cause others harm. These types feel no remorse and rarely stop bullying. This may be a pattern for their entire lives. The above mentioned facts on bullies have been widely accepted for many years, but new research proposes that bullying is something entirely different to some people. Psychologists used to believe that bullies have low self-esteem, and put down other people to feel better about themselves. While many bullies are themselves bullied at home or at school, new research shows that most bullies actually have excellent self-esteem. Bullies usually have a sense of entitlement and superiority over others, and lack compassion, impulse control and social skills.
Though there are different reasons behind the behavior of bullying, most bullies have certain things in common. Bullies behave in a dominant manner and cast blame for the bad things in their lives upon others. Though bullying is a learned behavior, genetics can play a part. For instance, some people are more predisposed to violence and aggression. However, not all people with these tendencies become bullies. Some are able to find ways to take out their aggression and anger in more manageable and healthy ways. It can be a simple matter of nature versus nurture. Another commonality in bullies is that they are attention seekers. Though the attention they receive is negative they still crave it as often it is the only attention that they receive.
The people in the bully’s life also have an effect on their behavior. On one side, the bully may have a family who does not care about the bully’s behavior and may even encourage it because they are the same way towards people. On the other hand, the bully’s parents may also be fearful of the bully and feel afraid to stand up to them and show them how to change their behavior. If the parents are fearful of doling out discipline to the bully then the bully learns that they can get away with their behavior since their own parents cannot even stop their behavior. When there is discipline from the parents it is usually not consistent. If his/her parents are in a good mood, the bully gets away with bad behavior. If the same parent is under stress, he or she will take it out in angry outbursts against the bully. This bully never internalizes rules of conduct or respect for authority.
Who are the Victims?
Though anyone can become the target of a bully, there are some commonalities between those who fall victim to bullying as bullies tend to choose a certain type of person to abuse. There are many reasons how and why bullies target others, and the reasons are consistent between cases. People who are victims of bullying find themselves being bullied due to their achievements, do not have a large circle of friends, subjected to unwarranted teasing and rumors, and tend to be more serious about important things in life such as school or work. Most people who are targets of bullies have something different about them. Maybe they wear thick glasses, dress differently, or are painfully shy. Many are awkward in social situations and try not to draw attention to themselves. Targets of bullies often have little or no friends who can stick up for them(which is one reason that the bully feels that they can abuse them) and already have low self-esteem. Bullies also target those who appear to be vulnerable and the main theory is that they do this so that there is little chance the person will stand up for themselves, making them easy to abuse. When bullied, they become visibly frightened, cry, or do not have an appropriate response. That is just what the bully wants; it becomes an invitation to even more bullying.
Effects of Bullying on the Victim
Bullying can, and often does, have lasting lifelong effect on the victim. Being bullied effects the victims self esteem which are even more significant when the victim already has had self esteem issues. Many victims need counseling to come to grips with the bullying and to help rebuild their lives as bullying can lead to depression, panic attacks, and physical ailments such as ulcers. Children who are bullied often suffer academically due to the fact that they fear going to school where the source of their stress resides. Some children are so affected by bullying that they choose not to further their education due to fear of having to face bullying in other atmospheres such as college. Many people who are bullied are so hurt by the cruel treatment that they contemplate suicide and some actually attempt and succeed in taking their own lives. There is often no end to bullying for victims. Devastating effects of bullying is the pattern it creates in victims’ minds and personalities that can last their whole life. It is common for children who are bullied to be the victim of bullying in their adult lives as well since their self esteem has been so devalued and they cannot seem to find the courage to stop being a victim.
Another serious issue for the victims of bullying is that the friends that they do have turn their back on the victim because they are afraid of being the outcast or the target. This further alienates the victim from their normal world. Also, for some victims, being bullied is a whole other learning experience. Sometimes the victim, out of anger and lack of control of their own lives, seek out someone who is weaker than they are and target them; hence the victim turns into the bully. These are all serious effects that can truly change the victim’s life and outlook on the future.
Effects of Bullying on the Bully
Though it may sound strange, there are actually negative effects from bullying on the bullies themselves. Bullies can suffer long-term effects of bullying if their behavior is not addressed. Compelling research confirms that bullies are twice as likely as their peers to have criminal convictions and four times more likely to be multiple offenders. Sometimes a bully can actually hate the way they treat their victims but somehow feel justified in doing so since they are abused by others as well. This feeling tends to override the feeling of empathy which makes for a psychological mess for the bully. Feeling conflicted about their behavior is also a source of stress that makes them want to bully more. If a bully is not stopped and treated then the chance of them stopping and becoming a different and healthier person is very slim and their behavior will continue into adulthood, affecting the type of life they lead.
Adult Bullying
One would think that as people mature and progress through life, that they would stop behaviors of their youth. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Sadly, adults can be bullies, just as children and teenagers can be bullies. While adults are more likely to use verbal bullying as opposed to physical bullying, the fact of the matter is that adult bullying exists. The goal of an adult bully is to gain power over another person, and make himself or herself the dominant adult. They try to humiliate victims, and “show them who is boss.”
There are several different types of adult bullies, and it helps to know how they operate:
1)Narcissistic Adult Bully: This type of adult bully is self-centered and does not share empathy with others. Additionally, there is little anxiety about consequences. He or she seems to feel good about him or herself, but in reality has a brittle narcissism that requires putting others down.
2)Impulsive Adult Bully: Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and plan their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, this adult bully has a hard time restraining his or her behavior. In some cases, this type of bullying may be unintentional, resulting in periods of stress, or when the bully is actually upset or concerned about something unconnected with the victim.
3)Physical Bully: While adult bullying rarely turns to physical confrontation, there are, nonetheless, bullies that use physicality. In some cases, the adult bully may not actually physically harm the victim, but may use the threat of harm, or physical domination through looming. Additionally, a physical bully may damage or steal a victim’s property, rather than physically confronting the victim.
4)Verbal Adult Bully: Words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage – to the bully – of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression.
5)Secondary Adult Bully: This is someone who does not initiate the bullying, but joins in so that he or she does not actually become a victim down the road. Secondary bullies may feel bad about what they are doing, but are more concerned about protecting themselves.
Workplace bullying can make life quite miserable and difficult. Supervisors should be made aware of adult bullies, since they can disrupt productivity, create a hostile work environment(opening the company to the risk of a lawsuit) and reduce morale.
It is important to note, though, that there is little you can do about an adult bully, other than ignore and try to avoid, after reporting the abuse to a supervisor. This is because adult bullies are often in a set pattern. They are not interested in working things out and they are not interested in compromise. Rather, adult bullies are more interested in power and domination. They want to feel as though they are important and preferred, and they accomplish this by bringing others down. There is very little you can do to change an adult bully, beyond working within the confines of laws and company regulations that are set up.
Is there a solution?
What do you, the members of arktos, think? What solutions do you have to prevent and/or stop bullying from occurring in any setting? Is it even preventable? Can it be stopped? What is the solution?
1) a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
2) one who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller, or in some way vulnerable
3) somebody who hurts others either physically, mentally or emotionally.
4) a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.
Synonyms for 'bully' are as follows:
- oppressor
- annoyer
- persecutor
- pest
- ruffian
- tormenter
Understanding bullying
Bullying is a distinctive pattern of harming and humiliating others, specifically those who are in some way smaller, weaker, younger or in any way more vulnerable than the bully. Bullying is not garden-variety aggression; it is a deliberate and repeated attempt to cause harm to others of lesser power. It's a very durable behavioral style, largely because bullies get what they want—at least at first. Bullies are made, not born, and it happens at an early age. More and more research is showing that bullying behaviors are developed between toddler and preschool years, and further engrained into a child’s communication style as they continue to progress through elementary school with the behavior unchecked. Children are a product of their upbringing, and many parents unknowingly expose them to interactions that shape the way their children will communicate with others one day. Many studies show that bullies lack prosocial behavior, are untroubled by anxiety, and do not understand others' feelings. They typically see themselves quite positively. Those who chronically bully have strained relationships with parents and peers.
Bullies couldn't exist without victims, and they don't pick on just anyone; those singled out lack assertiveness and radiate fear long before they ever encounter a bully. Interestingly enough, it appears that most bullies are completely unaware of how they are perceived. Often they find ways to justify their behavior, and have no concept of how their peers actually see them. For the most part, they consider themselves well-liked, though this is usually just a result of fear-based manipulation, and people being too afraid to speak up.
Bullying can consist of many different types of behaviors. Physical bullying consists of any type of physical violence, no matter how small. Another type of bullying is verbal bullying. This type of bullying consists of name calling, teasing, making fun of others, and threats of violence. Lastly, and most disturbing is cyber bullying. This type of bullying is perhaps the most dangerous type of bullying as it can be done anonymously. Cyber bullying can find many mediums such as email, text messaging, and social networks such as Facebook and MySpace. Here the bully can remain unknown as they can create fake screen names and profiles. It makes it easier to be a bully and to fall victim. Cyber bullying can consist of threats of violence, verbal abuse, and spreading false information for the purpose of embarrassing someone or hurting their reputations.
Who are bullies?
Bullies do not fit into a neat little box. They come from all walks of lives, all ages, all genders, all races, and all cultures. Bullies are very often people who have been bullied or abused themselves. Sometimes they are experiencing life situations they cannot cope with, that leave them feeling helpless and out of control. Many times, a bully does not feel that they can find any other means of fitting in or carving out their own niche in life so they turn to being powerful in a way that they feel brings them respect. They feel that being feared is the way to gain respect and surround themselves with friends and people who look up to them. However, what they do not realize is that people are “friends” with them so they do not become a target of their bullying. It all comes down to fear. Another possibility of the reason being the bullying attitude is that the bully themselves feels that they have no control in their lives. Maybe their home life is out of control and they are not listened to or valued by their family. In order to compensate for the lack of value at home the bully finds it in other places in inappropriate and unhealthy ways. Even though these are all valid explanations sometimes the only explanation is that the bully is a mean and cruel person who only feels good when they can cause others harm. These types feel no remorse and rarely stop bullying. This may be a pattern for their entire lives. The above mentioned facts on bullies have been widely accepted for many years, but new research proposes that bullying is something entirely different to some people. Psychologists used to believe that bullies have low self-esteem, and put down other people to feel better about themselves. While many bullies are themselves bullied at home or at school, new research shows that most bullies actually have excellent self-esteem. Bullies usually have a sense of entitlement and superiority over others, and lack compassion, impulse control and social skills.
Though there are different reasons behind the behavior of bullying, most bullies have certain things in common. Bullies behave in a dominant manner and cast blame for the bad things in their lives upon others. Though bullying is a learned behavior, genetics can play a part. For instance, some people are more predisposed to violence and aggression. However, not all people with these tendencies become bullies. Some are able to find ways to take out their aggression and anger in more manageable and healthy ways. It can be a simple matter of nature versus nurture. Another commonality in bullies is that they are attention seekers. Though the attention they receive is negative they still crave it as often it is the only attention that they receive.
The people in the bully’s life also have an effect on their behavior. On one side, the bully may have a family who does not care about the bully’s behavior and may even encourage it because they are the same way towards people. On the other hand, the bully’s parents may also be fearful of the bully and feel afraid to stand up to them and show them how to change their behavior. If the parents are fearful of doling out discipline to the bully then the bully learns that they can get away with their behavior since their own parents cannot even stop their behavior. When there is discipline from the parents it is usually not consistent. If his/her parents are in a good mood, the bully gets away with bad behavior. If the same parent is under stress, he or she will take it out in angry outbursts against the bully. This bully never internalizes rules of conduct or respect for authority.
Who are the Victims?
Though anyone can become the target of a bully, there are some commonalities between those who fall victim to bullying as bullies tend to choose a certain type of person to abuse. There are many reasons how and why bullies target others, and the reasons are consistent between cases. People who are victims of bullying find themselves being bullied due to their achievements, do not have a large circle of friends, subjected to unwarranted teasing and rumors, and tend to be more serious about important things in life such as school or work. Most people who are targets of bullies have something different about them. Maybe they wear thick glasses, dress differently, or are painfully shy. Many are awkward in social situations and try not to draw attention to themselves. Targets of bullies often have little or no friends who can stick up for them(which is one reason that the bully feels that they can abuse them) and already have low self-esteem. Bullies also target those who appear to be vulnerable and the main theory is that they do this so that there is little chance the person will stand up for themselves, making them easy to abuse. When bullied, they become visibly frightened, cry, or do not have an appropriate response. That is just what the bully wants; it becomes an invitation to even more bullying.
Effects of Bullying on the Victim
Bullying can, and often does, have lasting lifelong effect on the victim. Being bullied effects the victims self esteem which are even more significant when the victim already has had self esteem issues. Many victims need counseling to come to grips with the bullying and to help rebuild their lives as bullying can lead to depression, panic attacks, and physical ailments such as ulcers. Children who are bullied often suffer academically due to the fact that they fear going to school where the source of their stress resides. Some children are so affected by bullying that they choose not to further their education due to fear of having to face bullying in other atmospheres such as college. Many people who are bullied are so hurt by the cruel treatment that they contemplate suicide and some actually attempt and succeed in taking their own lives. There is often no end to bullying for victims. Devastating effects of bullying is the pattern it creates in victims’ minds and personalities that can last their whole life. It is common for children who are bullied to be the victim of bullying in their adult lives as well since their self esteem has been so devalued and they cannot seem to find the courage to stop being a victim.
Another serious issue for the victims of bullying is that the friends that they do have turn their back on the victim because they are afraid of being the outcast or the target. This further alienates the victim from their normal world. Also, for some victims, being bullied is a whole other learning experience. Sometimes the victim, out of anger and lack of control of their own lives, seek out someone who is weaker than they are and target them; hence the victim turns into the bully. These are all serious effects that can truly change the victim’s life and outlook on the future.
Effects of Bullying on the Bully
Though it may sound strange, there are actually negative effects from bullying on the bullies themselves. Bullies can suffer long-term effects of bullying if their behavior is not addressed. Compelling research confirms that bullies are twice as likely as their peers to have criminal convictions and four times more likely to be multiple offenders. Sometimes a bully can actually hate the way they treat their victims but somehow feel justified in doing so since they are abused by others as well. This feeling tends to override the feeling of empathy which makes for a psychological mess for the bully. Feeling conflicted about their behavior is also a source of stress that makes them want to bully more. If a bully is not stopped and treated then the chance of them stopping and becoming a different and healthier person is very slim and their behavior will continue into adulthood, affecting the type of life they lead.
Adult Bullying
One would think that as people mature and progress through life, that they would stop behaviors of their youth. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Sadly, adults can be bullies, just as children and teenagers can be bullies. While adults are more likely to use verbal bullying as opposed to physical bullying, the fact of the matter is that adult bullying exists. The goal of an adult bully is to gain power over another person, and make himself or herself the dominant adult. They try to humiliate victims, and “show them who is boss.”
There are several different types of adult bullies, and it helps to know how they operate:
1)Narcissistic Adult Bully: This type of adult bully is self-centered and does not share empathy with others. Additionally, there is little anxiety about consequences. He or she seems to feel good about him or herself, but in reality has a brittle narcissism that requires putting others down.
2)Impulsive Adult Bully: Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and plan their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, this adult bully has a hard time restraining his or her behavior. In some cases, this type of bullying may be unintentional, resulting in periods of stress, or when the bully is actually upset or concerned about something unconnected with the victim.
3)Physical Bully: While adult bullying rarely turns to physical confrontation, there are, nonetheless, bullies that use physicality. In some cases, the adult bully may not actually physically harm the victim, but may use the threat of harm, or physical domination through looming. Additionally, a physical bully may damage or steal a victim’s property, rather than physically confronting the victim.
4)Verbal Adult Bully: Words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage – to the bully – of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression.
5)Secondary Adult Bully: This is someone who does not initiate the bullying, but joins in so that he or she does not actually become a victim down the road. Secondary bullies may feel bad about what they are doing, but are more concerned about protecting themselves.
Workplace bullying can make life quite miserable and difficult. Supervisors should be made aware of adult bullies, since they can disrupt productivity, create a hostile work environment(opening the company to the risk of a lawsuit) and reduce morale.
It is important to note, though, that there is little you can do about an adult bully, other than ignore and try to avoid, after reporting the abuse to a supervisor. This is because adult bullies are often in a set pattern. They are not interested in working things out and they are not interested in compromise. Rather, adult bullies are more interested in power and domination. They want to feel as though they are important and preferred, and they accomplish this by bringing others down. There is very little you can do to change an adult bully, beyond working within the confines of laws and company regulations that are set up.
Is there a solution?
What do you, the members of arktos, think? What solutions do you have to prevent and/or stop bullying from occurring in any setting? Is it even preventable? Can it be stopped? What is the solution?
