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Post by Elizabeth on May 5, 2018 10:25:55 GMT
Let's say you have a spouse. Your parents and your spouse had a disagreement and they asked you who you're siding with. So who would you side with?
If it matters what the disagreement is to you then vote based on who you think you'd side with more often with all scenarios considered.
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Post by DKTrav88 on May 5, 2018 11:19:16 GMT
Honoring is different than choosing! Otherwise it will mean you would even allow your parents to do arranged marriages. Very wrong! Yes! .. but you should always avoid conflict with them! A disagreement does not always lead to conflict, nor does a disagreement prevent you from honoring your parents. |
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Clovis Merovingian
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Post by Clovis Merovingian on May 5, 2018 11:21:14 GMT
You can side with your blood. I'm going to side with those who are right. I am very anal retentive about this. If someone is wrong, they are wrong regardless of their relationship to me and they will be treated as such. One of the reasons I have this rule is so I don't have to make decisions like the one stated in this thread and also because it is the right thing to do. If my brother murders someone and the police are after him, then I side with the police, no matter what. This is just disagreements. Nothing like murder serious. But basically who you would value more on opinions after marriage. Neither. I side with who is right in the disagreement regardless of how big or small it is. |
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Post by Διαμονδ on May 5, 2018 11:22:41 GMT
Yes! .. but you should always avoid conflict with them! A disagreement does not always lead to conflict, nor does a disagreement prevent you from honoring your parents. Ukrainians can disagreement over the many years ... so person can then regret that already! facepalm |
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Post by DKTrav88 on May 5, 2018 11:33:12 GMT
A disagreement does not always lead to conflict, nor does a disagreement prevent you from honoring your parents. Ukrainians can disagreement over the many years ... so person can then regret that already! facepalm A disagreement does not always lead to regret either. |
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Post by Elizabeth on May 5, 2018 11:48:15 GMT
Honoring is different than choosing! Otherwise it will mean you would even allow your parents to do arranged marriages. Very wrong! Yes! .. but you should always avoid conflict with them! Yes but that's different. You should avoid conflict with everyone in general. But in a marriage it's you, your spouse, and Christ. Not parents. Parents aren't included with marriage xD Ephesians 5:23-25 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2018 12:13:44 GMT
ElizabethIt is the reason why I'm against an institution of marriage. It raises more problems, than solves. A wife, or a husband, or a lover.. any spouses - it doesn't matter, because it is an absurd. Family exist - because of - children. The one and the only primary directive - is to care about children. Who will do this: parents, grannies, housewives, slaves, or the army - it depends on circumstances. And I think that the municipal must care about children, not parents, or churches.
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Post by Lone Wanderer on May 5, 2018 14:18:47 GMT
I only side with my logic. If there would be a conflict between my future spouse and parents, I will try to resolve it.
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Post by Elizabeth on May 5, 2018 19:40:24 GMT
ElizabethIt is the reason why I'm against an institution of marriage. It raises more problems, than solves. A wife, or a husband, or a lover.. any spouses - it doesn't matter, because it is an absurd. Family exist - because of - children. The one and the only primary directive - is to care about children. Who will do this: parents, grannies, housewives, slaves, or the army - it depends on circumstances. And I think that the municipal must care about children, not parents, or churches. A family can also just be the spouses. Families come in all sizes. And parents don't care for married children anymore. They're in their own household and a separate entity from their parents entirely. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2018 20:19:58 GMT
Elizabeth It is the reason why I'm against an institution of marriage. It raises more problems, than solves. A wife, or a husband, or a lover.. any spouses - it doesn't matter, because it is an absurd. Family exist - because of - children. The one and the only primary directive - is to care about children. Who will do this: parents, grannies, housewives, slaves, or the army - it depends on circumstances. And I think that the municipal must care about children, not parents, or churches. A family can also just be the spouses. Families come in all sizes. And parents don't care for married children anymore. They're in their own household and a separate entity from their parents entirely. I did mention it just like you. ...?? Parents should not care (except some special cases) about their well-aged children. In the law of Ukraine there's a point of care about parents from grow-up children, and it doesn't mean to live with parents, but just care about them. Justified, I'd say. But children are more to their own affairs, so some services can play more real role in helping of old parents. So, surely children should live separately from parents. They say that parenting (a family) is better for children. I think that it depends on the type of society; in Sparta it wouldn't be appreciated to live like usual family, whereas it'd be norm in communities. But backing to normal ground how can you explain your phrase from Gospel with this: "...Everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life". (Matthew 19:29).
It contradicts to Ten Commandments, and the words allow someone to left my wife & children and starts following Christ, doesn't it? I don't understand how a wife can be stayed still while her husband is leaving the house?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2018 20:49:34 GMT
I will side with spouse most often since we're a unit or act as one now. Parents are separate from us.  Genesis 2:24 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Plus, I usually always disliked siding with parents so I love this verse I quoted  You can (almost) always get other spouse but you can't get other parents True. It means that parents are always needed in children's help too. But, the problem can be resolved if parents want to get rid of their grown-ups, and they are really tired of them, so young married couple can live happily without them. |
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Post by Elizabeth on May 5, 2018 20:56:08 GMT
Verses just mean to love God and put Him first. Put your dedicated to God first and to family second and He will bless you. Since Jesus said greatest commandment is to love God first and loving others is second. |
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2018 4:28:52 GMT
I will tilt my balance in favor of spouse. My reasoning is: Parents have a set of thoughts and expectations which they have been conditioned to PERFORM due to the lifestyle and norms of their era, however, they too are spouse, and did all the things to maintain their cordial relationship. But, then, the generation changes, and the kids condition themselves to the changes across the world taking place.
So, parents lifestyle and expectations can be discarded, but yeah, we have to be responsible towards them, but no need to agree on all the matters.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2018 4:29:48 GMT
But there is a catch, I won't allow the relative of the spouse to interfere in my familial matters.
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Post by Elizabeth on May 6, 2018 6:15:24 GMT
But there is a catch, I won't allow the relative of the spouse to interfere in my familial matters. Yup. But I won't let anyone interfere in that even if they're not family. Just no one  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2018 7:17:19 GMT
But there is a catch, I won't allow the relative of the spouse to interfere in my familial matters. Yup. But I won't let anyone interfere in that even if they're not family. Just no one I don't think it's right, because the relatives of spouses are a part of society, and society has rights under any family. A family is just a couple of people, but the society is much more people. Arguing about something is to involve the society to the problem. Solving the problem is to address to something that is under the society's affairs. There's not need to be separated, unit families. All families must be opened as far as we can. A family affairs are society's affairs. Leaving families on their own is to make that 'small countries of tyranny'. One person ought not to be interfered, but a family ought to. But, I'm speaking here about the law family, because two persons living together is not a family. As long as they live like that they are untouchable. But as soon as they're getting married, they become an object of society, and loosing their daily rights. Growing children is the another reason for subordinating families to society's laws. The society is owner of children, not a family. |
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